I spent the early part of my life understanding FOMO – you know, the Fear Of Missing Out. Which lead me to getting involved with a lot of things, possibly too many things. It also felt a bit uncomfortable when I felt like I was not included in things. But in the main, it was a catalyst for doing and it was all a bit frantic.
Then as I grew wiser to it, my priorities changed and I was more comfortable in my own skin, I grew to appreciate JOMO, the Joy Of Missing Out. This means I do not seek so much due to fear, I am happier in my own company and skin, I am less concerned if I am unable to join in or if an opportunity was not possible for me. I seek out things that aligned more with my values, when I say yes it is because I want to and or for good reason. In the main, JOMO is a more comfortable, less frantic place to be.
I heard another FO the other week on the radio – yes there is another Fear Of that has been lurking in the background and fuelling both FOMO and JOMO and it is coined as FOCU – the Fear of Cocking Up.
Personally, in terms of drivers, this can still power me do things OR not do things. It most definitively gets in the way. It encourages me to do things because I refuse to give in and I have often been confused by FOCU into thinking ‘even though I am I worried about this, I could do it, so I should’ rather than ‘do I want to do this? Yes I do.’ This has led to some uncomfortable spaces to be in on the run up to whatever it is I have committed to, even though, perhaps the outcome in the end has been enjoyable. Driven by FOCU, the journey is uncomfortable.
But what if this fear drives you to resist grasping opportunities. What if it cramps your creative ideas and stalls you from bringing them into reality. What if it prevents you from saying 'Yes', because you do not have enough trust in yourself.
FOCU is an area where values, goals, belief, commitment can get overridden by judgement, assumptions, perceptions and limiting beliefs.
It’s a bit of a conundrum isn’t it and I wonder how many other people find themselves caught up and feeling a bit stuck.
What to do, what to do…
- start by clarifying your core values and priorities. What do you care most about? What do you want to accomplish or experience?
- set your goals
- pay close attention to how you’re spending your time and energy
- make a plan for no distractions, so you can focus on what’s most important
- build your confidence through practice
- consider a mantra that works for you, perhaps;
o I can do what I set out to do
o I will do what I set out to do
o I do what I set out to do
And then you will, won’t you?
If you would like to find out more about working with me, I would love to hear from you. Contact me via the website or at kate@kategallowaycoaching.com.